After the Fall
by sasstiel
Summary: Set after 8x23; Dean and Castiel slowly realise they're in love. (I suck at summaries but that's pretty much it). Destiel. Please review!


Since the fall, Castiel felt that he needed to talk to Dean more... to be around Dean more. He didn't know if it was loneliness and his isolation from anyone but the Winchesters, or if his true feelings for Dean were only fully emerging now due to what Dean liked to call "post-humanisation". Dean was surprisingly supportive of Castiel after the disaster; he was nervous that turning up a week later at the Winchester's bunker with no words except "I'm sorry" wouldn't cut it – but of course, both brothers loved Cas dearly and it would take a hell of a lot more for them to disconnect from him.

For the first few weeks, Castiel started adjusting to certain human emotions and habits that were unfamiliar to him; Dean taught him how to shave, took him shopping for new clothes, introduced him to food he liked, and food he didn't enjoy so much, watched films with Cas – Dean did everything with him. He eventually (and reluctantly) taught Castiel how to drive, as Cas was insistent.

_Maybe it's more of a platonic fondness_ Castiel tried to reassure himself every time Dean came close to him and something in his chest felt light and fluttering. The one thing he and Dean hadn't yet discussed was emotions, and Cas knew that this was probably a no-go zone, considering it was Dean Winchester he was talking about. He thought that maybe Sam would talk to him, but wasn't too sure what to say. So for weeks, Castiel acted like Dean wasn't bothering him, like his heart didn't want to leap out of his chest when Dean was close, like he didn't shiver every time Dean touched him.

Dean started to sense something different about Castiel, and Cas noticed a change in Dean... was he teasing him? Out at a diner one night, Dean sat next to Castiel, who positioned himself in the corner of the booth, his hand on the seat next to him. Sam and Dean continued to talk excitedly about the successful hunt previously in the day, and as Dean leant against the back of the booth, he gently brushed Cas' fingers with his own, causing Cas to shiver. It was ever so fast, and Cas looked towards Dean with a look of shock, not that Sam noticed. He didn't know what Dean meant in this action, but he liked it, and it stayed with Cas for hours after.

* * *

"Right Cas, we have to teach you how to use a shotgun today!" Dean bounded into Cas' personal space (which ironically, Dean was the one always complaining about) and pulled him up from the sofa by his wrist. Cas was reluctant and was sleepy, a feeling he still wasn't quite used to. When they made it outside, Dean handed him the gun, and talked him through the basics; despite this, Cas was still nervous and Dean saw this as an opportunity for more flirting.

"Okay, I'll show you how to hold it properly, Cas". Dean edged behind Cas so their bodies were mere millimetres apart. He slightly brushed Cas' arm with his fingertips and saw that Cas' skin was flushing a gentle shade of pink. Dean smirked to himself but felt his nerves building. _Act natural, dude come on!_ He placed his hand over Castiel's on the trigger and with a loud BAM! Cas jogged backwards slightly on his feet and Dean caught him gently by the waist.

"You okay there buddy?" he continued looking at Cas, who had eyes widened with fear and adrenaline, and was in a slight state of confusion.

"I don't want to do any more gun practice, Dean". Cas backed away from Dean hurriedly and felt his skin burning, knowing he was blushing in front of Dean – the last thing he wanted to do. Dean smirked and stared at Cas, leaving the former angel even more flustered before he simply replied "okay. No more guns for now".

* * *

A few weeks later, while investigating a case, Sam left Dean and Cas to search an apartment in one of those skyscraper-type buildings. Cas continued to be even more nervous around Dean, after Dean's persistent and not-so-subtle touches and lingering glances, so was incredibly nervous when Dean insisted on taking the tiny lift to the 18th floor. Dean pressed the button and stood confidently waiting for the lift to come, while Cas shuffled nervously on his feet and searched desperately for an excuse to take the stairs, just so he wouldn't be in a confined space with Dean for any prolonged period of time. The life eventually came and Dean gestured for Cas to step in first with his arm and a gentle smile.

When both inside, Cas facing the door and Dean leaning against the wall, facing Cas, he could feel Dean's intimidating stare on his face, but didn't want to look up at him, so watched the floor number indicator on the lift change every few seconds. Dean smirked to himself as he could visibly witness Cas' nerves, but he wanted Castiel to make the first move. He knew he loved Cas, and what he once thought was a brotherly love like the one he felt for Sam, had now evolved into something much more intimate – spending all of that time with Cas warmed him, and he felt that his current state of happiness was mostly due to Cas' innocence and bewilderment in this "new" world. Dean sighed as he kept his gaze on Castiel.

"It's okay, you know Cas. I don't bite". Dean said the last words with a chuckle as he saw Cas' eyes widen with the same fear they showed in the incident with the shotgun. Cas blushed as he thought he understood what Dean meant, but of course didn't want to be too forward with anything, as he doubted Dean meant any of his teasing in a more than friendly way. Dean stepped even closer to Cas – _this is definitely personal space territory_ – and whispered "just relax, man", while gently brushing his fingers against Cas' hand again. Cas tried to twist his fingers with Dean's, but the door opened and they reached the designated floor. Dean laughed to himself and stepped briskly out, once again leaving Castiel bright red, and even more of a mushy, bewildered mess than before.

* * *

Cas knew for certain after the lift incident that Dean's "teasing" was turning into flirting, and despite not being too well educated in this area, he knew that flirting with someone generally was a show of feelings for them; this gave Castiel hope. He knew that from this stage in their relationship, his only two options were to either give Dean some sort of indication that he was interested and possibly make a fool of himself, or talk to Sam and see if he could give Cas any particular advice about approaching Dean, or if he even knew Dean's feelings for Cas.

"Sam, I would like to talk about Dean. Do you mind?" Cas motioned to the chair opposite Sam once Dean had left, and Sam raised his eyebrows in slight confusion and slight amusement.

"Sure, Cas. What's on your mind?" Sam continued tapping away at his laptop while Cas breathed heavily trying to find the courage to talk about his feelings for Dean, to the thankfully more understanding brother.

"I think I have strong feelings for Dean and I'm not really sure what to do about it". Sam barely flinched when these words left Castiel's mouth, and he very briefly raised his eyebrows and a slight smile crept across his face at how blunt Cas always was.

"Okay, good". Sam was silent after that and Cas expected him to say something else. After a few moments Sam looked up from his laptop towards Castiel, and shrugged. "What do you expect me to say Castiel, it's obvious really!" Cas frowned and narrowed his eyes. Maybe this is why Dean was teasing him for so long; _have I really been that obvious?_

"Well... I wondered if you could possibly help me. How do I approach Dean exactly? He's your brother so I wondered if he told you anything about me maybe..." Cas' voice trailed off as Sam smiled at Castiel's clearly nervous disposition, and his total unawareness of Dean's behaviour was amusing to Sam.

"Well, you know Dean, he doesn't do subtle, and no chick-flick moments, so whatever you have to say, spit it out pretty quickly, that's all I'd say". Sam folded his arms and leaned back, as Cas fumbled with his fingers in his lap. Sam felt a sudden sympathy at the realisation of the situation – Cas was a fallen angel and this was his first experience of the human "love", so he would obviously be nervous and pretty much alone in the water at approaching Dean. Sam felt a wave of guilt for slightly mocking Cas before, so decided to help him a bit more.

"Cas, I know Dean better than any one else, and I know the looks he gives you aren't just ones of friendship man". Cas' head flicked up and his eyes were suddenly brighter. "For what it's worth, my outside opinion is that he likes you too! So just don't be afraid. Maybe suggest a film night or something and you two can go to the cinema. That's a good chance to tell him how you feel".

Cas nodded and smiled to himself, deep in thought. Sam knew in that moment that Dean and Cas would never be the same again.

* * *

"Dean, would you like to accompany me to the cinema this evening?" Dean was standing in the kitchen when Cas came in and very boldly asked him. Dean almost dropped what he was holding; partly from being startled by Cas' sudden presence, and partly from nerves of it being Cas who startled him. He recovered and smiled at Cas, who seemed unusually confident. Dean wondered if he had been talking to Sam while he was out.

"Yeah, Cas" he gave a larger smile but tried to calm the overwhelming happiness that was engulfing his mind – had Cas just asked him on a date? "I'd love that. This evening okay?"

"Yes, this evening is good". Cas smiled and their glances lingered once more before Cas turned round to get ready for this evening.

* * *

A few hours later and Sam was still working at the dining table, tapping away at his laptop. Dean sat opposite him and seemed uneasy as he waited for Cas to come down so they could leave. Sam watched as Dean shifted from crossing his left leg over his right one, his right over his left, uncrossing them, banging a agitated rhythm on the table, and sighed looking round the room impatiently. Sam realised that this really was a date for the both of them, so decided to make himself scarce for when they returned, giving them some privacy.

Cas descended the stairs and was wearing a dark blue plaid shirt and jeans, with his favourite black jacket (which also happened to be Dean's favourite). Dean's eyes were frantic in their movements, desperate to drink in every inch of Cas before he stood up and had to act natural. He stood up, and was sure he felt his knees shaking, but didn't let that get to him as he headed towards Cas standing by the front door. He smiled at Cas and said something vague like "cool shirt", however more words were hanging on his lips, but never quite making their way forward. Sam shouted after them as they left, but neither of them bothered to care what he said; after all, it was probably something sarcastic.

* * *

The ride to the cinema in the impala was quiet – not uncomfortable silence, however it was shy, like the pair had something to say to each other but both were either too stubborn or too nervous to say it. Throughout the night they were like gawky teenagers; they shared timid glances and bumbled around words.

At one point during the film, Dean's hand was hanging over the edge of the armrest, and Cas felt a sudden urge to grip tightly onto Dean's hand and never let go. _This is a date, Castiel. You can do it. Come on._ He turned to Dean who stared in complete awe at the screen ahead of them, and raised his hand slowly to brush his fingertips over the back of Dean's hand. Dean gripped his hold on the armrest briefly, before letting go and twisting his hand up, to take Cas' fingers in his own. They held hands loosely, and Dean tickled the palm of Cas' hand with his thumb. They stayed like this for the rest of the film.

Dinner was comfortable; both Dean and Cas had become more at ease with the notion that this was a date, and both were accepting of what was blossoming for them. They sat opposite one another in a booth of a diner, and ate slowly as they appreciated the other just being there. Their legs brushed under the table and Dean felt himself blushing more times than he was comfortable with, and certainly more times than he was used to. Just being in Cas' presence was enough for him, and to know that Cas really cared about him in the same way he cared about Cas was not only a relief, but it was special, and something Dean knew he was going to hold onto. They talked and laughed and smiled and had comfortable silences where they would hold hands occasionally. For Dean and Cas, this was all they needed.

After the diner, they reached the car park and Dean went round to Cas' side of the car to open the door for him, which Cas was already pretty close to. He reached the door and was aware of the proximity of him and Cas, as Cas now leant against the car and Dean stepped forward. Neither moved; both just stared. Stared at each other and stared into each other's eyes as their faces drew closer by the second. Dean's rough hand found Cas' softer one, and their fingers tangled yet again. Cas felt the butterflies in his stomach bigger than ever and beating faster than ever before as Dean's other hand rested against Cas' cheek. Mere millimetres separated them, and Cas felt Dean's breath against his lips as he whispered "are you sure, Cas?"

Cas nodded and that was it; Dean moved his head the rest of the way and gave a feather-light kiss on the corner of Castiel's mouth. Cas thought the butterflies in his stomach were going to cause him to explode as Dean's warm and soft mouth was so close to his own. Dean's grip on his hand tightened and he moved his lips to Cas' own, and they exchanged the most chaste of kisses for a few seconds, before reluctantly parting to smile at one another. Dean could still see that in the dark, Cas had gone an even brighter shade of red and chuckled to himself. Dean moved forward again, this time kissing Cas more desperately in an attempt to evoke a response in Cas. Their lips moved cautiously and at a slow rhythm, Dean aware of Cas' lack of experience and desire to make what he assumed was Cas' first kiss both special and memorable. Cas' free hand moved inside Dean's jacket and he rested a slack hand against Dean's waist, pinching some of the fabric of Dean's t shirt in his fist. Dean's breathing deepened momentarily and he pushed his body forward, a need to be flush with Cas overwhelming his existence. That was all he ever wanted.

They broke the kiss eventually and they rested their foreheads together, smiling at one another.

"Cas, I-" Dean began a sentence but forgot what he was about to say, or rather, was unable to collate his feelings for this remarkable man into a coherent sentence. He cursed himself for ruining the perfect moment with a perfect man in his arms, and shook the thoughts away as he took a few steps back from Cas, who looked lost without the touch of Dean's skin against his own.

"I love you Dean". Dean looked up and saw Cas still the same shade of red, and with a look of despair after the months of waiting to say those three words. Dean was shocked, at the realisation that he had never really heard those words come out of the mouth of someone so special to him before. His fear of those words blew away at the notion that those words came from Castiel, and he stepped forward urgently and kissed Cas again, kissing his lips, his jawline, the length of his neck. Cas was lost, lost in Dean, his hands desperately grabbing Dean's jacket and his hair, all lust that had been reined in for so long finally being released. Dean kissed Cas' earlobe and beneath his ear in between whispers of "I love you", "you're perfect", and "don't ever leave me".

They discovered each other in that 10 minutes they spent kissing under the stars in the car park of the diner. They shared an impermeable bond that was being explored through their mouths and hands, and they simultaneously came undone in an avalanche of feelings, kisses, and silent promises.


End file.
